


So This Is Who You Were

by jayasgoggles



Category: Spider-Man (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Disney XD - Freeform, M/M, Marvel Universe, Older AU, Parksborn, major angst, spiderman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-03-14 17:53:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayasgoggles/pseuds/jayasgoggles
Summary: Harry finds out his best friend's most well-kept secret...The hard way.





	1. Grief

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before the Rise of Doc Ock arc so forgive the inaccuracies.
> 
> Also you will cry.

Autumn was nearly over in New York and winter was just around the corner. The air felt like the crisp chill of mint, enough to give any pedestrian freezer burn on the inside of their lungs. However the late November cold didn’t stop Harry Osborn from making the trek to the familiar cafe where he, nearly religiously, met his best friend Peter for breakfast every morning. The ritual itself began nearly four years ago and has held up ever since with few interruptions. Pete was late rather often but rarely absent and never either without a proper explanation and apology. It was always a comfort to Harry to know that these small routine meetings were just as important to Peter as they were to him, and for appropriate reasons too. 

 

Harry swiftly pushed open the door to the small coffee shop and immediately went to reserve their usual seats by the window, putting his jacket on one chair and his scarf on the other. Still shivering from the November air, he made his way to the counter and ordered two lattes and a scone. When he got back to the seats and pulled out his phone he noticed two missed calls and a voicemail from Pete.

 

“Hey Harry! I might be a bit late to breakfast, I’ve been working on my senior project all week but I still need to finish up a few things before the check in deadline today. I’ll be sure to be there though! See you soon, bye.” His voice sounded a bit shaky, but not alarmingly so. 

 

Harry had the same thought as he always does when his friend is late:

 

_ Classic Parker _

 

But he trusted him to show up, so he waited.

 

And waited.

 

And waited.

 

By 8:30 he had finished his coffee and Pete’s had gone cold, it was time to get to school anyway.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur for Harry, he felt chest tension and his hands were shaking. He was confused by the anxiety symptoms, there was nothing in his consciousness  to be anxious about. Still something in the pit of his stomach didn’t feel right.

 

After all his classes were finished, he took the long elevator ride to the massive penthouse apartment at the top of the Oscorp skyscraper. Something in him just wanted to talk to Peter, like his voice was the only thing that could possibly calm his nerves. He hastily pulled out his phone and pressed the most recurring name in his recent calls. It went straight to voicemail. He felt an unusual crack in the center of his being. Still, he tried his best to remain calm.

“Hey Pete, it’s Harry. I missed you at breakfast this morning. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight. Give me a call back and we’ll figure it out. Hope to see you soon, bye.”

 

* * *

 

It was 7:30pm and still no word from Peter. Harry was beginning to piece together a picture he didn’t want to invision. He made some tea and stretched out on the couch, hoping to get some form of relief.

 

After fifteen solid minutes of what felt like mental torture, Harry’s phone rang. He ecstatically scrambled to answer but froze when he saw the contact.

 

It wasn’t Pete.

 

It was Gwen Stacy.

 

He cautiously answered the call, only to have his fears nearly confirmed. She was crying, so intensely that whenever she tried to speak her words were lost in the sobs.

 

After a few seconds of babbling incoherently she mustered out something audible. “H-Harry?”

 

“What what is it?!” He frantically responded.

 

There were more loud sobs for a good while.

 

“Did you hear?” She said through the tears.

 

“Hear what?!” Harry nearly screamed, heart racing at the speed of light.

 

“T-turn on the evening news.” She let out one last, shrill sob before hanging up.

 

Harry picked up the remote, hand trembling uncontrollably. The TV turned on with a click and the local news presented itself in front of him.

 

The blonde news anchor stood there in her obnoxiously pink dress, so bright in color that seemed like a mockery of Harry’s woe, and as she began to speak he wanted to throw up.

 

“Tonight’s top story is a true tragedy. At approximately 8:00am this morning one of New York City’s most beloved superheroes, Spiderman, was shot on 5th Avenue in an attempt to stop a jewelry store robbery and later died at the hospital. Upon arriving at the hospital for treatment, however, his identity, long kept secret, was revealed. Spiderman’s civilian identity was 17-year-old Peter Parker…”

 

At that Harry’s eyes widened and he dropped his tea, shattering the mug to several porcelain shards. His body went numb as his brain desperately tried to process the information it just recieved. He refused to listen to the rest of the story, but he couldn’t turn off the TV, he couldn’t move at all. The blood drained from his face, and tears formed in the corners of his eyes.

 

_ This is just a nightmare _

 

_ A horrible, horrible nightmare _

 

He blacked out.


	2. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long but I updated the tags bc I rewrote the rest of the plot!
> 
> Enjoy!

“All the things you could do on your eighteenth birthday and you just wanna come over my house?” Peter’s voice echoed out of Harry’s phone’s speaker.

 

“Yeah Pete! I haven’t been over in ages!”

 

“I mean, I’m not refusing, if that’s how you wanna spend your ascension into adulthood, I’d love to have you over friday.”

 

“‘Ascension into adulthood’? What are you? A best selling YA novelist?” Harry laughed.

 

“No, I’m a scientist.”

 

“Not with that vocabulary you’re not!”

 

“You got me! See you tomorrow morning, Harry.”

 

“See you tomorrow morning.”

 

* * *

 

The saturday morning sun blazed through penthouse’s the massive window paigns, burning Harry’s slow-opening eyes. He sat up, holding his head.

 

_ I just got up, how do I already have a migraine? _

 

Using almost all his energy, he swung his legs over to sit upright on the couch, but froze as his socks were dampened by a cold wet substance on the floor that served as a reminder of the previous evening’s trauma.

Every memory of Peter his mind contained came to him at once, like his life flashing before his eyes. He felt dizzy again.

 

_ Why couldn’t it have just been a nightmare? _

 

Almost as if by design, the living room TV, which was still on from the night before, played the morning news.

 

“As a follow up to last night’s breaking news, the death of Spiderman, we now give you information on the funeral arrangements of New York City’s fallen hero.” The anchor began. Harry wanted to turn it off, to preserve what little sanity he had left but something in him felt obligated to keep watching. “There will be a public funeral tomorrow at 11am followed by a private wake for friends and family only.”

 

Peter was his friend, his best friend, never once had he doubted that…

 

Until this moment.

 

Spiderman was a menace, he got him booted from Horizon, pulled him into the line of danger many times, he caused so much damage and yet got hero’s praise. So many things Harry convinced himself he was over were making his blood boil.

 

But Peter? Peter wouldn’t do anything like that. All the boy ever did was look out for him. Peter was a good kid, and an even better friend. But he was Spiderman? The story didn't add up.

 

And now it was too late to ask him about it.

 

So many of these questions raced through Harry’s mind that he forced himself to rush to an answer.

 

_ No. _

 

He thought.

 

_ This is fake. _

 

_ This is some publicity stunt Spiderman pulled to hide himself like the coward he is and Pete took the fall for him. _

 

_ That’s the only possible explanation. _

 

* * *

The night was still relatively young but it felt nearly over to the two teenagers, sitting on the roof of the small house in Queens. The stars were difficult to see, due to the mild light pollution from the dim, flickering streetlights that lined the pothole-filled road below them. Still, it wasn't impossible, some major constellations were visible and Peter wouldn’t dare hesitate to point all of them out and Harry, despite undoubtedly knowing said constellations, would listen intently to his infodumping. Peter knew that sometimes Harry was just humoring his words and that he knew the information already, but it was still comforting to know that he was listening anyway.

__

Tonight was a bit different from the usual talk of constellations and school, seeing that the boys were slightly buzzed. Aunt May let them drink a bit so long as they were in the house so as they sat on the roof, they were each holding a bottle of Bud Light. Peter’s was nearly empty but Harry’s still had three quarters of the bottle’s contents left. He tended to naturally finish his drinks at snail pace so as a result very rarely got fully drunk. Peter drank at a normal speed but had a decent alcohol tolerance, leaving him only slightly more buzzed than Harry.

__

“Still nursing that beer?” He teased.

__

“As per usual.” Harry responded with a small laugh to his voice.

__

“So, how does it feel to be an adult?”

__

“No different. I’m still in high school, still live with my dad, still barely know how to drive. Age is just a number I guess.”

__

“Yeah.” Peter said, tone slightly different in an indistinct way. There was silence for a good while before he forcibly changed the subject. “Harry?”

__

“Yeah?”

__

“What do you think would’ve happened if you had stayed at Horizon?”

__

Harry paused, the question came out of nowhere.

__

“Uh… I don't know, I never really thought about it.”

__

“Ah.”

__

“Why do you ask? What do you think would’ve happened?”

__

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just something I think about a lot. I just miss you sometimes. I care about you a lot, painfully so to be honest.”

__

“I care about you too. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”

__

Peter simply laughed to himself, but it sounded forced, like he was hiding something.

__

They sat there in silence for a good while. Peter finished his beer and looked deeply into Harry’s eyes.

__

“Harry, I have something to tell you.”

__


	3. Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Miracle writing motivation came from Michael and others on discord.

The following day was even colder than the past few. It was the kind of bone chilling temperature that the body simply couldn’t recover from. The very minimal amount of sleep Harry had experienced since Friday didn’t help him. All Harry wanted was to be warm but he hadn't felt warm for days.

 

_Why does the funeral have to be outside?_

 

It was Sunday

 

The funeral ceremony was packed, there were more people than Harry had ever expected could attend any funeral let alone Pete’s. Then again, this was also supposedly Spiderman’s funeral.

 

 _So many of these people being deceived_.

 

Harry stood in the back, shivering and steaming at the same time. A few of his former Horizon classmates gave lengthy and emotional eulogies, as did Max and Peter’s aunt May. Part of Harry knew he should listen but he was to occupied with being angry.

 

He almost didn’t notice the end of the ceremony, he was so trapped in his own mind. But seeing Aunt May walk by in the procession was the stone to break the glass, freeing him.

 

_Regardless of Spiderman’s lies, Pete’s still gone._

 

_I should probably go to the wake._

 

* * *

 

He arrived at the familiar house in Queens and reluctantly knocked at the door. Aunt May answered

 

“Harry…” She began, sounding pleasantly surprised but still distraught. “I didn’t see you at the funeral.”

 

“Sorry, I got there a bit late and had to stand in the back.” He lied. “Oscorp’s still pretty far from Central Park.”

 

“Come in.” Said Aunt May slowly gesturing for him to do so. He followed.

 

As he walked through the front hallway of the Parker residence he noticed the pictures on the wall. There seemed to be a picture of Peter at every point in his life. Baby pictures, little Peter opening a chemistry set on Christmas morning, 8th grade graduation, a shot of Peter and Harry before the dance at Horizon, and many photos commemorating his other accomplishments and awards from the rest of his time there. Some pictures depicted events and things that Harry didn’t even know about. He began to feel out of touch. A familiar question came to mind.

 

_What would have happened if I had stayed at Horizon?_

 

He tried not to think too hard about it.

 

When he arrived in the living room the somber feeling of the entire room hit him like a freight train, at least he recognized everyone there. Anya and Gwen sat on the couch, they were holding hands, Anya’s thumb slowly rubbing Gwen's in an attempt to comfort her. Miles was in the corner of the room, he looked just about as drained as Harry, like he had been beating himself up for a long time. Max was offering quiet condolences to Aunt May in the kitchen.

 

“Hey.” Harry whispered.

 

He knew he probably shouldn't have said anything, there was nothing to say, but the thick silence was eating him alive.  They all turned to look at him, something in Miles’ eyes made him feel unwelcome. He sat down on the couch next to Gwen and she immediately flung her arms around him.

 

“I’m sorry Harry.” She sobbed into his shoulder.

 

“Don’t be.” He whispered back. “It’s not like there’s anything you could have done to prevent it.”

 

At that Miles’ hands clenched and his head jolted to the side in a very visible tremor.

 

“Harry?” Anya asked over Gwen’s shoulder.

 

“Hm?” Harry responded, tiredly. He didn’t expect that her question would send this sad and respectful event on an absolute turn for the worst.

 

“You were Peter’s closest friend, did he ever tell you he was Spiderman?”

 

Harry’s breath hitched and he began to swell with rage. “He wasn’t.”

 

“What?” Gwen questioned.

 

“He wasn’t Spiderman, he couldn't have been.”

 

“But-” Anya began.

 

“Think about it! Knowing Spiderman he probably used Pete as a puppet to fake his own death and run off somewhere!”

 

“You really are your father's son…” Miles said, stepping towards the couch.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“You Osborns would rather come up with conspiracy theories than acknowledge Spidey as a hero.”

 

“He’s not a hero, Miles, he killed my best friend!”

 

“He _was_ your best friend!”

 

“He would tell me!”

 

“He has every reason _not_ to tell you.”

 

“Well if you knew him so well why didn’t he tell _you_?!”

 

“He did!”

 

“And why would he do that?!”

 

The exchange had gotten quicker and louder and angrier with every phrase.

 

Miles had to scream “Cause I’m Kid Arachnid!”

 

 _That_ shut Harry up.

 

“Miles…” Anya said, horrified at hearing him yell.

 

“He told me it was just a bank robbery, that it was just a couple of goons and that he take on his own, that my senior project was more important.” Miles was crying now, sobbing in fact. Like this is the first time he had broken down about it, that everything he had held in was uncontrollable spilling out of him. “He was _wrong_ , and _I_ was wrong to believe him.”

 

They sat in silence for a moment until a new upset voice broke it.

 

“Boys.” It was Aunt May, she looked horrified. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

 

* * *

 

Harry didn't want to drive all the way home. He was too distracted by the puzzle he was piecing together.

 

Everything was so obvious in hindsight. The way he’d talk about spiderman, how he’d disappear right before a fight, all the vocal inflections and corny jokes Spiderman made that were so unmistakably _Pete_.

 

He felt stupid.

 

He felt _crazy_.

 

How could he not of known.

 

He somehow made it back to Oscorp safely and parked his car in the parking garage.  As he traveled up the elevator again he felt more dead inside than he had ever felt in his lifetime.

 

All harry wanted was sleep. Once he got to his room he immediately crashed, not even bothering to brush his teeth or undress himself, he lay on top of the sheets in his black suit and tie, unconscious and stiff.

**Author's Note:**

> :3c


End file.
